why can't i cry
Why Can't I Cry Anymore? And How To Get The Tears To Come
Why can't I cry? And how to get tears to come consult a therapist to help you get to the root of why you can't cry. Just to find one now. Do you have trouble crying when you're sad? If you do, you're not alone. A quick search of the web will bring countless messages from people who are simply not able to cry, even when in deep sadness. This is incredibly unfortunate, as weeping is one of the healthiest and most cathartic ways of freeing emotional accumulation, from and frustration from absolute despair. However, many people feel they cannot cry. Why is this happening? And how can you pass from the blocks to allow tears to flow again? Let's start with the main reason that people can't cry... Learned Repression If you find it hard to cry, even if you want, there is a possibility that at some point in your past, you learned not to. This is obviously not an innate trait, as every baby on earth knows how to cry. They cry for the slightest provocation, and although that trait seems to fade a little as they age, young children will still cry for the fall of a hat. When they're sad. Or if they fall down and get hurt. Or just because with joy and cannot contain the power of your emotions. At some point, parents – and teachers, and society as a whole – teach them that crying is inappropriate. Inacceptable, even. Instead of being seen as a pressure-release valve, it is considered a sign of weakness, to be repressed at all times. Have you not noticed that the only time Western society considers it acceptable that people cry is at funerals, and even then, only one tear or two seems to be okay? Stoicism is admired and praised. Throw your face down because you're gutted is looked down. As a result, people everywhere have an incredibly difficult time allowing themselves to cry. If you are one of them, it could be due to several different factors. Your repression could have been a self-governed trait, where you spent so much time willing to yourself not to cry that you deactivate your inner weeping mechanisms. Alternatively, you could have been embarrassed, belittled, or even beaten if you were crying. If a young man learns early in that weeping will result in pain and punishment, they will generally do whatever it takes to avoid it, right? Over time, they will develop an instant response to emotional stimuli where your internal switch will trigger "off" when emotions work too high. How can you pass that and learn to cry again? Here are 4 things you can do:1. Abrace Vulnerability Many people who have learned to repress their tears grew up in very difficult environments. Some may have been abused in childhood, or experienced situations that made them feel helpless. Many of them have probably experienced, and had to deal with the fall that occurred. When a person has felt impotent and betrayed, especially if it happened over and over, they often close emotionally as a mechanism of self-defense. Basically, they become invulnerable so they never have to feel so horrible again. The problem of putting walls around the heart is that not only makes the heart invulnerable: it catches it. Those walls may seem impenetrable from the outside, apparently keeping the person "safe" from undesired emotions, but the heart is also unable to get out. Basically, those walls have become a cage. One that can be incredibly hard to release. 2. Open Pandora's BoxThere is an exercise that some people use to prevent emotions from affecting them, and that's the technique of "putting things in a box." Every time an emotion that doesn't want to feel right within them, they imagine that the feeling (or thought) is placed in a large, strong box with a heavy lid, never escape unless they choose to take it out again. Most choose not to, and those emotional boxes end up sealed for a lot longer than they should be. It may be useful to put aside certain emotions to go through a difficult situation, but pack them in boxes and put them in the closet forever won't do you any good. If you feel like you want to access those emotions and learn to cry again, then a good way to start the process is to open that box again. open that box back upPick one day when you feel enough, and able to process potentially difficult emotions. Then choose a place where you feel absolutely safe and secure. Feel comfortable, with any creature comfort you need. This could be a relaxing bedroom where you have lit some perfumed candles and have healing crystals around you, or it could be a enclosed bathroom that you have stored with Gatorade and the sock monkey you've loved since you had three.. Only unconditional and accepted. Take a deep breath. Then imagine opening the closet you created inside yourself, reaching inside and removing a box. Sit with her for a few moments, imagining she's in her hands. You are not impotent: you have full control over your circumstances, and no one will embarrass you, nor will he judge you, nor will he hurt you for feeling what you feel. You are not impotent: When you feel ready to do so, open the box and take a souvenir. You can choose which hard memory you would like to face, but you may want to start with one that is not too powerful or painful.3. Be gentle with yourselfReactions to face these memories will be different for all. Some people might have built walls so strong that they barely feel a blip when they get these experiences out of storage. In such cases, a stronger and more difficult memory could help them break their walls. Others may feel an immediate emotional increase, which in turn can cause the response of knee sharks to repress and ignore, because that hurts much less than facing the pain. If this is the situation, try to accept it instead of . Sit with memory, and allow the emotion to run through you. allow the excitement to run through you. This will be difficult, but the goal is to be able to work through these emotions to learn to cry about them, and thus release them, right? This is not something that needs to be arranged all at once. In fact, it is unlikely that you will face years of emotional repression in a single session. If the first attempt is too much for you, then stop it when you need it. For as long as you need YOU is the one in control here, so you can decide how much you want to feel, and when. Try it again when you feel like you're able to do it, and continue the process until you feel the crack of the dam enough so that tears can flow. When they do (and will certainly do), try to avoid their normal response to stop them. There's no shame here. No weakness. Nobody's judging you wrong, or thinking about something negative about you. You are surrounded by , and acceptance, and light. Whether you only handle a small riff, a single tear, or a huge punch session, please congratulate yourself on having the strength to push through your own fears of being vulnerable. It may take a long time before you can get completely loose to cry your heart, and even longer than that to show emotional vulnerability to someone else. And that's absolutely fine. Take as long as you need, even if you need the next 50 or 60 years to pass. 4. Boost The Sign If you feel like you need something extra to help increase these emotional responses, try to see movies from your childhood that you know you used to cry. Recreating those childhood experiences can trigger a lot of excitement, and some people might feel a little silly seeing the Lion King or other PG movies as adults. Again, no trial. Hell, I relayed Bridge to Terabithia a few years ago and ended up sobbing for a good hour. When it comes to crushing those walls and learning to cry again, the mantra to remember here is "what works. " If you have been repressing your emotions for several decades, you may need a stronger shake to break those open walls. Just get ready for a sudden wave of powerful emotion to be quite overwhelming. Having a person to resort to if you are having a panic attack or emotional crisis is a good idea. If there's someone you trust implicitly, open them up about what you're trying to work on, and set up a system they'll know how to get in if you need help. Even choosing an emoticone to send them a message so they can come with ice cream and tissues is a good idea. This peer system is never needed, but it is better to set it up and not need it, than need it and not have it available to you. Note: Many Can Numb Emotions Medicines Note that many antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications (such as benzodiazepines) can numb or meaningful emotions. It doesn't happen to all who take them, but it's one of the potential side effects. That's something like what they're meant to do, but it can be disconcerting when you want to cry, but it can't. If you are in this type of medication and feel that you are making your ability to release emotion through crying, talk to your doctor/therapist. They may be able to adjust your dose to relieve the numbness effect, or offer therapy options to help you break those barriers. Blessings for you. You're still not sure why you can't cry or start over? Talk to a therapist today who can walk through the process. Just to connect with one. You may also like: This page contains affiliate links. I get a commission if you choose to buy something after clicking on them. You can also like... About Author Catherine Winter is a writer, art director and herbalist in training based in the Outaouais region of Quebec. It has been known to subsist in coffee and soup for days at a time, and when you are not writing or caring for your garden, you can be found fighting with various projects of tissue and friendship with local fauna.© Copyright A Conscious Rethinking. All rights reserved Silence
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